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You must be cringing as you read this. I do not know what else you must be feeling. I have never been a mistress and the root cause of so much insufferable pain to another woman. I never broke the hearts and home of two innocent young children. I gratefully cannot empathise. I do not know you. But I do know what you are capable of.

It breaks my heart to think that my girls will be part of your life. I do not believe you deserve the precious gift of their company. However, this letter is not intended to hurt or seek revenge. I cannot blame you. You did not betray me. You are not the one who took an oath of faithfulness, truth and unconditional love. And then broke it every day for twelve years. I did not see this coming.

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There was no forewarning of any unhappiness. He stepped out of the marriage and had an affair. He did not have the courage to tell me. I caught him. This time, it was with you. The consequences of your actions and morality are for you to deal with. They do not matter to me. You have heard things about me that may or may not be true.

A letter to my husband's mistress: This is what you've left behind.

Whatever he has told you that justifies the pain he has inflicted is for him to bear. There is no point in trying to defend myself.

Your opinion of me does not matter. What does matter are my children. So here you are. Part of a relationship that was never yours, but now is. My only goal is to successfully parent the girls despite the difficulty of the situation. I did not want this, but this is mine and their reality now. My husband, my best friend, a family unit, my home, my dreams for the future, time with my own children.

But what I do have are choices. And an indescribable strength and capacity for kindness. I can choose to hate you. I can choose to make this difficult. I choose to accept that, despite my own feelings, you are here and a part of our lives.

A letter to... my husband’s girlfriend

I do not want to live a life of anger, hate and animosity. I do not want this is be awful or uncomfortable for anyone. Nothing I have in life came easily — I do not feel entitled. Now, with the loss of my marriage comes the sobering reality: There is now another woman who will influence my daughters. And I need to find the strength to accept that. My guards are down and my mind is open. I will swallow my pride, for them.

I am not going to lay down some laws about how to treat my children. I cannot expect to dictate how you will act in front of my children. Your language, key messages, own personal beliefs or views on raising children are out of my control.

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However, you will need to take shared responsibility for their health and happiness. I can only ask to be yourself around them, and to treat them fairly. What I can do is share my dreams for the girls, and ask you to help realise them. I want my girls to be the best versions of themselves. I want my girls to be surrounded by strong women so they can learn strength. I want my girls to be surrounded by women who value family, loyalty, kindness and truth.

I want my girls to grow up to be women with integrity. My girls will learn to be selfless. Life is not about personal pleasure at the expense of others. I still think about you every single day. I don't hate my husband anymore; I'm proud of him. He's been the perfect role model for someone who has committed an affair. You were right about one thing: he's one heck of a man. Through all of the nights of screaming at the top of my lungs, crying, and threats of leaving, he stood there taking it all. There were days when he didn't think he would survive it.

An Open Letter To My Husband's Girlfriend

But guess what? He did. And guess what? You've probably been with countless other men already. Sluts do that. If you do think about my husband, I hope you know you were a bad person. Anyone who tries to take a husband and father away from his family is a bad person. Did it happen to you?

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Is that why you tried to do it to someone else? That's not right. I did nothing to you, and my kids certainly didn't. Maybe, by some chance in the universe, you're reading this right now. If you were in front of me, I would say this:. You're only a bad memory now.

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We have made it. Goodbye forever,. The Scorned Wife.

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